I’ve struggled with depression from as far back as I can remember. It had a strong hold on my life for a long time but I can now say that I didn’t let it overtake me and I have become a stronger person through the pain I have gone through. I was diagnosed specifically with Bipolar Disorder a few years ago and I remember the hopelessness I felt, especially since I rarely heard of success stories. But, just because I didn’t hear them doesn’t mean they aren’t out there and I am a testimony to prove it. It took me years of baby steps, support, counseling, and medication management to get to where I am now but I can say that because I decided to fight, I experienced some of the most incredible things. I went from being insecure and afraid to talk about my struggles, to traveling the world speaking in different countries about God and how he changed my life from the depths of despair I was in. My testimony became a powerful tool to inspire other people and I now no longer feel like I have to hide my illness, because it doesn’t define who I am. I want to speak out for the people who feel they don’t have a voice and I want to help them understand that they really do. I want them to know their worth and that no matter how difficult a battle is, there is never a good reason to give up. God used music as an outlet in my life to channel what I was feeling and express that with others. I am tired of my songs sitting in my notebook and I wan’t to share them and the message that goes along with it.
This song is called Beauty of Tension and it talks about the power of your testimony. It talks about how you can be going through something that makes no sense and is really painful, but how it is really growing you into a stronger person. It talks about overcoming fears and walking through the pain but not just walking through it, conquering it. Lastly, it talks about God’s role in all of this and how he is present through every moment.
I also wrote a rap/song on the same channel called Identity that talks about my personal identity crisis in fighting my insecurities and regrets and letting go of what other people think of me.
Both are really special to me because it has shown my journey and how far I have come. I hope it can help you too.