Growing Up Sucks.

Growing up sucks. Growing up in a small town sucks even more. Growing up in a small town as a girl can be the worst.

Someday I will walk away
When time ain’t drawing on me like a blade
Back turned to the setting sun
Leaving behind Toronto’s incessant hum

I remember my first years as happy ones. I had friends, I kind of liked school and I started doing sports and was pretty good at it, but I always liked boy stuff too and that’s when the problems started. As a very young girl society doesn’t want you to play football with boys and society doesn’t want you to be smart. When the decision was made that I’m was going to secondary modern school I was instantly called stupid. I got told that my perspectives would be becoming a hairdresser or baker, but most importantly I got told that as a girl I shouldn’t waste my time thinking about a career, because the most important thing in my life would be to get children and be a good mother.

‘Cause I was born and raised
To live beyond
The heft and weight
Of a world undone

That’s when I decided to not become one of the odds. I chose knowledge as my weapon for revenge. I started to work on my career and showing everyone that a girl can be smart and successful. During the fights through junior high and high school I got called teacher’s pet, because I liked learning and having good grades. The lowest point was getting beaten up by classmates because I was better than them and most shockingly as a girl, how dare I?

It was also the time when I decided to not have children. As a woman without having a desire to have children you become an alien for society. You get ask “What is wrong with you?” or “Don’t you can’t have children?” No, I’m fine, thanks. I just made a decision based on my life that I should be able to handle myself. I don’t know whether it were my own struggles growing up or that I can’t handle babies and neither see them as cute human beings, but getting told “Oh sure, you’ll have children someday” makes me tired.

But I don’t mean to be a bother
I don’t need you to take my burden away
And I ain’t afraid of dying
Cold and alone

Life is harder than stone. Now as a college student few months away from getting my bachelors degree all I can say is that nothing has changed. I still have to prove that I am good enough for the work I do. It’s not that I get called stupid anymore, even if I still get called teacher’s pet,  but asked “You sure you can do this? We can let “he” make it for you.” No, Thank You, again.

I’m grateful for life making me a tough women, because I’m able to make my own decisions whether they are accepted or not. I will use my voice even more in the future because Emma Watson and her “He for She” campaign can be a change. The proportion of women in the leadership of companies doesn’t change anything if it is just for the good reputation. The change need to be started in kindergarten by telling girls that they’re not anything less than a boy. The change has to start in our minds not by laws.