I’ve always been drawn to music. My mother used to be a really good singer back in the day, in the late 80’s she was actually lead singer for a band in Ohio. My brother was a drummer for a band him and his friends started in high school. I’ve always had a fascination with music. Although back then I never really knew that music would eventually save my life, and ultimately save my sanity.
I used to always listen to music. I’d listen to music as I waited for the bus to school to show up, I’d listen to music throughout school even though I got in trouble for it a lot. I would listen to music while doing anything at home. If I was playing a video game, doing chores, or even when I would just sit and watch tv, I would always have my earbuds in my ears listening to music.
When I was put into foster care initially, I received the greatest Christmas present ever. I got the newest iPod Touch. I loaded all my music onto it, and I would end up just listening to music every opportunity I had. I wasn’t allowed to listen to my iPod as much as I would’ve liked, and I ended up getting in trouble and being punished for anything and everything. My sanity was pushed to its limits on many occasions. I always thought of ending it, just ending everything about my life. When I would start thinking like that, I would just put my earbuds in, and turn on music. The music was my escape from everything. Music calmed my nerves whenever I thought of committing suicide or self harm. The power of music to me, just lifts everything off my shoulders. Music is what saved me through those dark years. Whenever I start to have an anxiety attack, I smoke a cigarette, and listen to music. Music helps me think everything through, and it helps me through all the stress that builds up. When I moved out of my first foster home, I was relieved. I was finally free. Listening to music helped me get through it, music helped me relieve all my emotions about that house, music saved me from myself.