Same Love

I don’t know how I should survive this life by living a lie everyday. I am gay and can’t tell my family. I was raised catholic and we’re living catholic. I once asked my parents what they would do if one of my siblings would come out to them and they said that they couldn’t love anymore. This was such a slap in my face that I had to fight tears.

I do believe in god, but I believe in love more. I am too young to run away and I don’t want to run away, but I want to love. I don’t know what to do. Each day I try to find the strength to keep going, but if I can’t be me, what is the sense in life then? My thoughts are such a mess that I can’t concentrate anymore. Don’t they see the difference between religion and faith? Why are they loving a book more than me?

I told one of my sisters that I’m gay and her first reaction was “Don’t tell anyone!”. I need to hide for the rest of my life. “God loves all his children”, but my parents won’t love me. They recently came into my room while I was listening to Macklemore and asked what the song “Same Love” is about and after I told them, they asked me to not listen to it again. I still listen to it. I have to.