As the main purpose of our website is to encourage others to keep going by sharing stories to songs that helped them, we want to invite you to our new blog series “Songs to Recovery #1”. All blog posts are based on real-life stories of us whether things happened recently or in the past. We want to take the phrase “you are not alone” to action instead of just words. We have to work with it and most importantly – live it.
So, welcome to our intimate thoughts and emotions.
Humiliation might be one of the worst things that can happen to a person. It can be a never fading memory in a person’s mind. The mind itself is sent down a spiral of overwhelming emotions, doubts and questions. A hallway in which every single door leads to a question “Was I the wrong here?”, “Is this really happening?”, “Am I crazy?” or “Is it all my fault?”.
By humiliating someone, their choice is taken away as it was not brought onto themselves like embarrassment. Humiliation cuts deeper than embarrassment. It is traumatic, it is an abasement and takes away pride by leaving the person speechless. It is a power game for which the aggressor is trying to deny and destroy a person’s status as the victim is not able to defend himself.
It creates feelings which might not be understood by everyone and the questions that arise might not be answered by anyone. It can be really discouraging to want answers to questions which might be impossible to answer. That’s when we have to create purpose for ourselves. By art, we can create a beginning of purpose. So in your darkest our, find that one reason to keep going. Find that spark. If you have something that you created or that you really care about and you are the only person that can explain that thing to yourself than you found your reason to stay.
I’ve recently been humiliated and even after almost five months of dealing with it, I can feel it the same as the minute it happened. I went from speechless to outbursts of anger to not leaving my bed for almost a week. All knowing that the other people probably do not care at all. It hurts, it’s dark and most heavily, it makes you feel like you overreact. You stay silent as you think no one will understand anyway, but opening up showed me who really cares about me and who really cared about what I had to say. I questioned whether I did the right choices in my life. I questioned whether I chose the right career and I questioned whether it was all worth it. It’s been a time of a lot of music, a lot of internal screams and a lot of denying the truth, truth that I needed quiet.
Humiliation is something that everyone sees differently and everyone has a different opinion about it. Being ask “Was it really that bad?” was the door opener to all following questions. I might take me still a couple more weeks to fully get over it or maybe I never will fully get over it, but I know that I found a good reason to stay and be kinder than my aggressor.