The People behind Hope Through Music: Flo

Hope Through Music is all about people, their stories and music that helped them through difficult situations in their lifes. It’s an important thing: these stories need to be told and shared with people that have made similar experiences! These stories can help other people!

When AK  first told me about her idea to create this project, I remembered what it was like to be in one of my toughest situation and how I solved it. Music was always a big part in my life. I always had my headphones on and listened to music to get through the day. So I think it’s time to take the opportunity to talk about my story.

“Before electric light
You paddled through the soup of darkness as a crocodile
Cherry picking in the river
I would leave crisp note footprints at the Bankside”

Actually my story affected a long time in my life! It starts when I was 13 and came to its finale when I was almost 21! Its about coming out of the closet and finding my love, the one love!

During my time in school I probably knew it, but being gay is not a thing you tell everybody when you’re already an outsider. Being diffirent is hard enough, but being different and gay is something that can be hardly handled by a teenager. I was absolutely unsure about my sexuality. Why should I be different. I didn’t have a girlfriend like others in my class. I wasn’t even interested. I fooled myself. I told things to other classmates to apologize. And I was damn good at it!

People bullied me and said that I’m gay. Actually they were totally right, but I said that it’s simply ridiculous. Fact is: I dated guys and I dated a girl. But love? I was caught between two worlds: I didn’t want to be gay, because I’d been bullied for it. I didn’t want a real relationship with a girl, because I felt that it wasn’t right. I talked to a lot of people on the internet. There were really nice guys, but nothing ever happened, because I couldn’t share it with my friends or family.

“Watch it closely you see it begin to move
Watch it closely you see it begin to flicker”

When I was 20, I talked to a guy who seemed really nice. We had a lot of the same interest and somehow we met. The strange thing was: I asked for a date. Maybe I finally wanted to change something in my life. Maybe I simply gave a f*** of other opinions!

“While we’re here, let’s see what happens
What we got, got, got to lose
While we’re tidal and flexed on a full moon
It’d be a sure, sure shame to not to”

What should I say? It was one of the greatest days in my life. It was really nice to be around someone who is like me! And love happened.

“Do what you feel, just how you like
Nobody has to know”

I loved him and it was okay. Music helped me and I can’t remember any other song that fits so well! After three months of dating we even went to the concert of Imogen Heap in town. It was a magical evening and felt so right to be in his arms!
A few weeks later I came out to my family, friends and even to colleagues at work. I didn’t receive any negative comments and it was so much fun to tell the world that I have a boyfriend! It was simply the right time.