Three Years

i left middle school this year and these past three years have a story.
three years ago right around this time i was walking out of elementary school for the last time. i was walking away from the place i grew up in, and i learned i hated socializing in. i was also walking away from the classroom where my teacher played music everyday while we were working. he played house of gold a lot. as a fifth grader i thought nothing much of it just that i liked the song, so i went home deciding if listen to more of this bands music because i was starting to realize how much i liked music. i sat down with my ipod 4 and listened to car radio and the rest of vessel just liking their music for the way it sounded. i didn’t know much about the boys at all at that time or the clique or what any of it was. it was just the sound. i kept to myself about my music taste and most things, i was an extremely fake person in sixth grade obsessed with the idea of being liked. throughout that year i began to realize i had depression and i still kept it to myself. i remember being at my friends house and we were listening to music and a song came on and i liked it so i looked it up again later, seeing that this band id grown to like had released another album and how would i have known not being a part of the fandom? i listened to blurryface hearing it at first, but then going back and really listening. the music became my safe place, my shut away from the world. over the summer after seventh grade i stopped caring about people judging me because i wasn’t at school for people to judge. i found regional at best loving the rawness and reality of it. i went more into the music joining the fandom learning who was tyler and who was josh and which one played the drums, where they grew up who they were as people. i fell so much more inlove with the band, i went back into 8th grade forgetting that i used to care and showing people that yes indeed i am one of those people who listens to bands. but oh yes, this story doesn’t end. in january of this year i started losing all the people i thought i was closest too, the people i had felt i could count on weren’t there for me, they were the ones against me. i had nothing but my mom and the music, this is where self titled started to matter to me. this was the honesty of it for me, it was my sign that other people had these problems this sadness that tugs at you the weight you physically feel in your chest when you’re that sad. it kept me alright for awhile. i met these other amazing weird people who didn’t mind that i was crazy obsessed with people i don’t know personally. they took me in and made me part of their family, not to mention all the people who would be willing to talk to me, because they knew this band too. i saw tyler and josh live and the whole time it just felt like home, everyone was there together living and breathing as one. isle of flightless birds is my battle song, it’s what calms me, it’s what i need sometimes. every album has served a significant role in who i’ve become overtime. this is why i’m so obsessed with these two people. yes josh has amazing abs and a very nice face, and tyler’s got floofy hair and a beautiful voice, but that’s not just why i love this band. there’s reason and there’s meaning. twenty one pilots. thank you for helping me the past three years, i’ve loved you for awhile now and i’ll continue to. live on |-/